We are making plans to spend Valentine’s Day with the man we hate to love: Mr. 50 Shades of Christian Grey! We’ll be there by the tens of thousands spending our tens of millions for a quickie: a quick escape, a quick entitlement, a quick hope, and yes – a hot quick thrill. As you pass us bye in the ticket lines next weekend you may wonder, who are we to be so enticed? Well let me tell you…
“It’s the fact that you are mine to do with as I see fit-ultimate control over someone else. And it turns me on.” – Christian Grey*
We are girls who want for greatness and don’t know we were already born from it. We’re attracted to masculine confidence but have learned to settle for big egos. Like Ana, we will tolerate male arrogance (against our better judgement) even if it eventually abuses us. We are looking for someone who appears great to tell us in turn we are great. We will let them define us and we’ll conform for the approval. So what if it comes with a side of pride and control freak? We can’t help it. We’ve simply not yet learned the glory of our own worth nor from where it has originated.
“Why did he say he couldn’t make love? I will do anything he wants.” – Ana Steele*
We are girls who long for intimacy and have learned to repress it for sex. We know – we know, Christian is not intimately acquainted with Ana. He won’t even let her look him in the eyes. However, he is intimately acquainted with the female body and we really like that. Thanks to the countless many he paid to practice his craft on; he is a master at timing, touch, and building anticipation in order to manipulate mind-blowing orgasms! Just like Ana, we secretly long for our men to study us in all of our ways but we’ll let them know our bodies first while we endlessly hope for the engagement of our souls. We don’t know to wait through the slow, mutual, and voluntary reveal of two trusting hearts and a daring martial vow. We’ve not had a grid for that kind of action for decades. Sucks, I know.
“I need to be able to show him affection than perhaps he can reciprocate…” -Ana Steele*
We are girls who long for justice and strive to self-redeem our own violations. We are the abused flocking to appease our secret abuses. We continue to give our sex away hoping one of these days, our sex will finally return the love we wished for the first time we gave it away. Please keep in mind, very few of us were introduced to sex in the context of its holiness, we have no idea the true ecstasy we’ve been compromising.
“I am grateful for your inexperience… Simply put, it means that you are mine in every way.” -Christian Grey*
We are girls who agonize to make an impact and we’re so easily deceived. Our hunger for romance makes us think that he was making a declaration of love until death parts them. The truth we can’t see is that his ego was swelling; knowing he got inside her first, marking her, staking his claim to never be forgotten! His heart wasn’t melting for Ana. She was simply his latest “greatest accomplishment*”. It’s a demonic rebel yell, a declaration of ownership. Now, you might be aware that the psychology of a sexual predator is to get-off on stealing purity, but we don’t. For some unknown reason get flattered by that crap.
“My stomach somersaults-he wants me … in a weird way, true, but this beautiful, strange, kinky man wants me.” -Ana Steele*
We are girls who dream to be counted among the beautiful and, well sometimes, we’re just shallow. We want someone beautiful to tell us we are beautiful because it just seems to counts more. Truth is, if we stripped Christian Grey of his beauty, money, and charisma we’d call him an ugly rapist, an impoverished abuser, a creepy stalker, and protest his pedophile-like perversions. As long as the perversions wear a pretty mask it’s all good with us. The truth is, sometimes we can be just as one dimensional as we accuse our guys to be. Why so shocked? You’ve been told the day was coming for lovers; lovers of self, money, and the profane. Right?
Mostly though, within our own relationships, we feel lonely for someone we have not met, not yet. We are bored with our choices and our insides are empty. We are starving for fascination. So when you see us girls standing in the ticket lines please forgive us, we know not what we do. We’ve mistaken this big-screen illustration of abuse, manipulation, and mutual masturbation for a love story. Pray for us, love on us, but please don’t hold it against us. For if we ever got a deeper glimpse of the beautiful innocence in One True Love, we want you to know we would be making different plans for Valentines Day.
*Quotes from 50 Shades of Grey by E L James 2011