Should I date or should I wait? Well, to the best of my knowledge the bible does not address dating. There is no biblical law against it nor is there any biblical counsel encouraging it. When it comes to dating, I no longer think “to date or not to date” is the relevant question. What God has given us is a series of relationship standards of “one anothering” that apply to all our relationships. He has also given us charges to flee sexual immoralities. That’s it. So basically our instruction is to be good to one another and don’t touch nor lust for what has not been given to us.
What does He say about waiting? A lot! To wait upon the Lord is not only encouraged, it is instructed, expected, and rewarded. He has also given us stories of His involvement in the three romantic matches previously mentioned. In them He has proved how faithful He is in the romantic. He is a wise Giver of good and fitting mates. My logical conclusion is simple; dating is unnecessary.
Keeping our romantic interests in prayer and submission to God works to purify our friendships with the opposite sex and preserve the hearts of everyone involved as well as future relationships. When Jesus spoke of the adulterous thought making us just as guilty as the adulterous act, He pointed to His greater concern: the purity of our hearts. So I wonder, “to be pure of heart or not to be pure of heart” might be the more relevant question. That’d be great because the answer to that question is a no-brainer.
When romantic interests strike and we decide to pursue it with dating we have to deal with the yoked of not being sexual with them. Because we want to do this right we’ll make our own rules to keep ourselves from obsessing, lusting, touching, and arousing one another. All of this becomes increasingly difficult to abide by because while we are resisting physically, we intercourse emotionally and affectionately. Our intertwining tightens, the questions of longevity surface and now we have to fight the pull and fog of our longings as we pray to know if this is “the one”.
It appears to me that all our efforts to compile do’s and don’ts for dating and engagement end up complicating the elementary nature of a giving God. The laborious do’s and don’ts are eliminating from our relationship with Him the very thing that brings Him pleasure: our faith. Either we believe what we see in the bible as His ability and desire to present His choice or we don’t. We wait or we don’t.
Unbelief in His vintage design leaves us alone to surrender ourselves to ourselves, leaving us with only what we can do for ourselves. Consequently, it robs our Father God of the superior pleasures our faith. The consequences domino from there; we are robbed; therefore the church is robbed until finally the earth is empty of righteousness and cries out for holy matrimonies.
What does waiting look like? It looks like wisdom; living preoccupied with Him, believing what He says, and receiving what He brings. If you want something to do while you wait; watch, pray, build friendships, and reserve romance for the one He discloses as His gift to you in His time. The dont’s will fall away in the light of His love for you. Why should we grope for what He is already longing to give?
I think we’re half way there…